"Let the Children Come... Along the Infant Way"
From what I can tell, this book is the more "Christian" version of Baby Wise. This book is a book/workbook for a small group study the Ezzo's taught at churches. The Baby Wise books were their newer, more secular version of the parenting strategies. They never explain the difference in their books, so this is all what I could figure out on the internet. Anyhow, my friend wanted me to read it and loaned me her copy. So here we are. I have never read Baby Wise, so I am not sure if they are the exact same or not. But from what I have heard, I am guessing they are similar.
Things I Liked About It:
- They stress flexibility over schedule. Yes they are about getting your child on a schedule, and I had always heard it was very rigid, but I was happy to read over and over again that your baby's schedule should never come before others comfort etc. So if you are on a plane, feed the baby to make it quite, or if your baby is in the nursery at church do not stress the workers out by making them strict to your strict schedule. They teach that there is a lot of flexibility and your baby can always get back on schedule. I wasn't expecting that.
- They affirm constantly that you are the parent and know best for your baby. It is all about the parent assessing what is the best choice for the baby right now. Is the baby hungry even though it hasnt been a full 3 or 4 hours? You can choose to go off the routine and listen to the baby's cues.
- They really spell out the typical routine to shoot for.
- They spend a lot of time talking about feeding. I think I always thought of this as a sleep training, but they approach it as learning your baby's three-part life for now: feeding, wake time and nap time. They say the first thing to focus on is getting go feedings in and they give lots of tips if you are breast-feeding.
- They give tips and routines for breast-feeding babies and formula babies. I think thats super helpful for all, because you never know how this will work out for you.
Things I Didn't Like About It:
- They really make it sound like if you do this your child will sleep no matter what, like its fool proof. I think they do say several times that all babies are different etc, but they just make it sound so easy. I know several people that tried and tried (or are trying and trying) and their babies just are not sleeping like this.
- They hate on baby wearing a lot. I am a fan of baby wearing. They are more so hating on the parenting approaches that wear baby all day long to keep them from crying, which I am not a fan of or obviously going to be able to do at work. But I think for me it will be way more convenient to wear my baby in a store than try to lug around a big car seat.
- They hate on cloth diapering. This book was written in 2000, so I know cloth diapering has modernized alot since then and thats part of it. But they were just inaccurate in some of the stuff they said.
So I know all parenting styles are controversial, and especially sleep training etc. But what do you think of the "Baby Wise" method? Or what do you recommend to a new mom-to-be??
Ok, I did the whole Babywise thing and swore by it because Eli slept through the night at 10 weeks!
ReplyDeleteHowever, as you know we hit a few bumps in the road after he became sick at 8 months. Because of that book I felt like I had failed as a mother. I would cry that I couldn't even get my child to sleep so I must be horrid.
I would let him cry it out (and still do) but looking back, I was missing some major indicators of health issues that I should have picked up on...I was brain washed. To this day he has some security issue at night. Minor, but there.
Anyway, we ended up finding out in addition to a long string of illnesses, he likely had (has) a hormone deficiency that makes sleeping difficult.
So, we still use some of the principles and training ideas, but have learned that each case is unique and Eli doesn't fit the mold.
Long story short, it does work. But keep in mind that a lot of other things work too. I love the concept of discpline starting so early, but just remember that if this doesn't work something else will. Parenting is about survival..ha!
In the end we give Eli his bath, read a story, say our prayers and sing some hymns. He even sings "Jesus"...so sweet! We put him to bed while he is awake and make him cry if he doesn't fall right off to sleep. After 15 mintues we go in to comfort and from the cycle contines.
Talk to me in person and I can tell you more!
My opinions aren't important but as a fairly new mom, I thought I'd leave my 2 cents. As a mom to be I think it's easy to freak out about everything. I did. But now, it's easy to look back and see how everything just worked out. You try to get your baby in to a routine and sometime the baby gets you into a routine. And somehow, you compromise. As kids grow, they change and so do routines. Well, mine and all my gal pal's with kids seem to think so. As my mom says, women raised kids long before these books existed. However, I do think it's helpful to do your research. I still feel like 75% has just been instinct - somehow, mommys have that!
ReplyDelete