Thursday, July 14, 2016

Gia Pate and the video the world didn't get to see

If you asked Griffin Pate, Gia Alan Pate would have been the name of his new baby sister, who was due to enter this world at the beginning of January (if you asked me, I would have said Grayson or Gretta or Gwen). I say would have because instead of continuing to grow safe and sound in my womb, she has passed on to her forever home. We were 14 weeks pregnant on Tuesday, the day I went for a D&C because our babies heart had stopped beating a week earlier.

This is not the news I thought I would be sharing here this week. In fact, I really thought I would be sharing this video with the world instead:

YouTube Video

If that doesn't make you smile I don't know what would. How cute is his excitement?!!

But when I walked into my Dr appointment Monday morning, plans changed. They couldn't find the heartbeat. It's early I thought, not that big of a deal. My dr wanted to do an ultrasound just to be safe. We tried the abdominal one, but she said we needed to switch to vaginal for a better look... When she came back in she had Dr Gass with her. "He just wants to get a look too..." She said. I think I knew as soon as he walked in. I watched their faces and I knew...

The hardest part of this? When we found out we were pregnant with baby number three I begged God for it to be a false positive. "Lord, I am not cut out for three kids... Grady needs to be older... How will we afford them..." The doubts filled my mind and many tears were shed, For many weeks. Mr.Pate was excited. He trusted that God knew what He was doing and jumped on board. I took much longer.

In fact, I didn't get fully onboard until we told Griffin and got the above video filled with excitement. His excitement over this new sister (we did the blood test and found out we were expecting a girl!) never wore out- he was seriously so so excited. And it was what my soul needed to see the Lords plan and jump on board. Seeing Griffin be a big brother has been one of the greatest joys of my life, and now I would get to see it as a protective big brother to a sister.

I stopped crying every time I thought about the baby and started daydreaming about names. Would I get another red head or a blondie like her oldest brother? I was all in...

Then Monday happened. And not only did my heart break, but I came home to see Mr.Pate and Griffin's hearts breaking too.... Words can't describe it.

It's now Thursday and we are no longer crying all day. Life does have to move forward. Grady Pate has no understanding of any of this and continues to play and be hilarious. Griffin has rebounded and had moments of pure joy, though he is still mentioning it and having moments of sadness. We are living, because there is no other choice. The emotions come and go.... And I am expecting it will be this way for awhile.

We are being well loved, prayed for and cared for by family, close friends, and even from distant facebook friends. His grace abounds.

How I am changes moment by moment. But I couldn't not share this video with the world, even if it was intended to tell the world a message that is no longer happening for the Pate family. I will forever watch this video to remember the joy this baby brought to our lives, if only for a moment.

"He giveth and giveth and giveth again."

(A friend sent this to me, may it encourage you also)

Baby girl (who resembles an alien here) at 10 weeks...

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Sunday, June 12, 2016

We have a graduate...

From preschool that is!! Griffin graduated from his preschool at the beginning of May. We will miss Miss Christy and his other teachers so much!! They have taught him a ton and he has had a blast.

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{Ball Season 2016} The rest of Baseball

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Happy Birthday Liam & Ireland!

We have partied hard at the Kingery's Farm the last two weekends! Last weekend we celebrated Liam with a Rodeo Bash, and yesterday we celebrated Ireland with a water luau! Tons of fun!

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Monday, May 30, 2016

Memorial Day Fun 2016

We started our holiday out with a slow morning around the house. The boys and I got out our wooden puzzles and worked on teaching Grady how to do them. He started to do pretty well! Griffin has always loved puzzles, so it was cute seeing him try to teach little bro.

Mr.Pate met some people for disc golf mid-morning, so we decided to go to the park too. Man it was hot today! There was no one on the playground when we got there, but after five minutes I knew why! Everything was so hot.

After some playing, Griffin did a nature scavenger hunt I had found on Pinterest. We put Grady in the stroller and we walked the trail around the park looking for things like birds, rocks, street signs, squirrels etc. Griffin really got in to it and it was so much fun! And so easy too, I just printed a page that had pictures on it and gave him a pen to circle when he found it. Definitely going to do something like that again.

After the hunt, we went home and let Grady nap. We watched Monsters, Inc. and I had forgotten how cute it it! Once Grady was up, we headed to Beech Bend with Uncle D.

It was hot, but such a good time. We did the water park and the boys really had fun. Griffin did a few slides in the kid area, but it was FREEZING cold. Like ice water. Seriously.

Then we did the wave pool and it felt great and was super fun. Both boys enjoyed the waves, it was cute!

After the water, it was on to some rides. Grady was happy to have Uncle D to take him on a few of the kiddo ones, as well as Bubba.

The very last ride of the day...

We headed to Chuy's for dinner then home for Popsicles! What a great family day! Welcome Summer- so glad you are here!!

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