Thursday, April 30, 2009

a few goals...

as i mentioned in my previous post (click here if you missed it), i am inspired to set a few goals right now. i am transitioning in life right now, from a job to no job to hopefully a job (please Lord) and i feel like it is a reflective time for me. so i want to make the most out of it and resolve to do a few things that i prob should have been doing all along. 

also, please post comments with your goals to encourage and inspire me too! thanks!

1. i need to follow through on things, and not do things halfway. with the small things and big things. for instance, i have been meaning to get my passport updated for two weeks... but i have only gone halfway through the process, also i have a tendency to put my clothes in the floor bc i dont want to hang them up... which is pretty lazy, and i read half of a book and then start a new one instead of finishing. 
2. i want to take at least thirty minutes everyday to do one of those things you always have on your list, but never make time for. like walking in the park, or sitting in the backyard and just observing, or going to a bookstore and getting lost in books. i think those things feed the soul.
3. spend as much time reading a book as i do watching tv & surfing the net.
4. plan healthier meals instead of impulse eating when i am so hungry i could die bc i didnt plan well.
5. i want to set my mind on memorizing scripture the way i set my mind on learning biblical truth. see i love to study deep into the meaning of scripture. part of this is a true desire to know my Lord and Savior more, and I am sad and embarrassed to say that part is prob bc of my pride and 'want to know it all' attitude. i really work at this. i want to work at knowing God's word just as hard. So that i can dwell on the things above instead of the things of this earth. 

there are plenty of other things i want to resolve to do or improve in... but i feel starting with five is manageable. so any of you that read this and see or talk to me regularly, hold me accountable and encourage me to persevere! and please share your goals too!

a little starbucks, a new obsession, some goals, and a new friend

 i am sitting here in "my husband's starbucks" as i fondly refer to it, and perusing the blog world. and thought i would share a few different things on my brain.

1. blogs: blogs have turned into a new obsession for me. i finally realized the extent of it a few weekends ago when i had a girls weekend with some of my best friends. as we hung out and caught up i started doing that thing where you hear yourself from outside your body, you know what i mean? well, anyhow, i suddenly realized that every few minutes practically, i was referring to a blog. literally! "oh yeah such and such are doing this now, i read it on their blog" and "well such and such does that this way, i read it on their blog". i have become a junkie. 

let me clarify my obsession though. i am not into the super spiritual or theological blogs (although they would prob be more beneficial? not sure of it though), and i am not into news blogs either. i am into two particular types of blogs: personal ones and frugal, money saving ones. 

by personal blogs, i mean the kind where real people just share about their everyday life, whats on their minds, etc. i love these blogs. i read tons of them. all people i know though, only that interests me. 

by frugal, money saving  blogs i mean the kind where crazy obsessed frugal moms share tips on have to save money. they are kind crazy really, but sometimes helpful. 

i am blaming this obsession on kristi and natalie. they got me started with blogs this summer. what bad influences. 

2. a new friend: a girl just turned around from her table at starbucks and said to me, "your husband is so helpful and nice". i have never seen this girl. but i was flattered. i love my husband. and too often it takes someone else noticing he rocks for me to remember. (sidenote: she was simply guessing he was mine based on the ring on his finger and the fact that i had brought us a picnic dinner to eat in the middle of starbucks, you do what you have to)

3. Goals: i was reading someones blog a moment ago who had listed several things she was determined to do more or that she had learned this semester. i was inspired to do make my own list. but then i decided that i would be even more encouraged if i had others share their lists with me too! 

so here is the deal. i am going to work on my list, and post it later. when i do, i would love for people to post their own lists as a comment on mine. come on people- spur me on! 

Saturday, April 25, 2009

when you dont have kids...

i guess when you dont have kids, you act as if your pets are your children. we have zoey (a fat cat) and joey (a large dog). 

and today joey and his first playdate.

thats right- playdate. Angela brought over she and Tommy's youngest dog, Joey, to play with our Joey today. so 'little' joey and 'big' joey ran in circles in our yard. they marked every plant we have. they rolled quite abit. and they panted for dear life. it was precious, and it amazed me how easily amused i am by my animals. here are just a few pics to let you see the fun! 

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

i am excited. i am sad.

As I have mentioned before, I will not be working at the BCM after this May. And i have no idea what I am moving on to. Well, May is coming sooner than I thought, and the BCM is getting into "plan for next year" mode. and I am not a part of most of it. sad times.

i mean, it really is a good thing- moving on. this is what is best for my family right now, and that is my top priority. i am excited for a change in my life. i am excited for a new challenge and new scene. i am excited to see my husband more. i am excited to pour into my youth more. i am excited to see someone else do this job and be blessed thru it. i am excited. 

but I am sad too. i am sad to leave a ministry i love so so much. i am sad to leave such an exciting area of ministry- the campus. i am sad to leave my boss who is so wonderful (i probably dont remember that enough). i am sad to leave where i am comfortable. i am sad to not be a part of the new things they will do next year. i am sad to leave meeting with students one on one and just hearing them grow and fall more in love with Christ each day. i am sad to pack up my office, that i have practically lived in for four years. i am sad. 

i knew this process would be a hard one, but this week it has really become real to me. i am not a part of interviewing students to be parents. i am not a part of planning the council planning retreat. i am not part of the new exec meeting. i am not a part. i feel terribly left out.

and i hate being left out. you see i shouldnt be a part of these things, the new staff should. and i am soo excited for them and what entering this phase of their life will be like. but i am soo sad to be leaving this phase of my life. for better or for worse, i have loved this job. the students i have had the honor of working with, the events i have been able to be a part of, even the challenges i have had to work thru, all of this has been such an amazing process for me. 

and it is time to say goodbye. and that is never easy. letting go is never easy. 

another health post...

well i got my test results back from my endocrinologist today, indicating that i am insulin resistant. (if you missed my post about my current health situation you can find it here) so what does that mean? i have found some cute pictures to explain: 

The first picture is showing what normal insulin usage looks like. The second one is showing what it looks like when you are insulin resistant. Basically, my body isn't using the sugar it produces or consumes correctly, and I will have to take a medicine to improve this. 

This actually wasn't bad news... at least now I have some idea of what's wrong with my body these days. I did decide to go ahead and switch my thyroid medicine to the more natural one, so I will have lots of changes in these next few weeks. Let's all pray it is for the better!

i promise i wont always talk about this boring stupid sickness stuff... thanks for bearing with me! 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

how many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

i feel like my life right now is expressed in the cliche jokes that go: "how many ____ (in my case doctors) does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

for those of you who dont know, in Dec of 2007 I had my thyroid removed and discovered i had been living with thyroid cancer. since they removed my entire thyroid, i no longer had cancer, but just to be safe i underwent radioactive iodine treatment and full body scan which came back clear. for the last year i have been trying to get my thyroid hormone levels worked out (i have to take a supplement of this hormone for the rest of my life, you actually need this very small organ) and it has been quite the journey. 

i dont feel like myself. i havent for quite awhile. i am exhausted. i wake up exhausted every morning. i am a walking flake- meaning i have the driest skin ever. i am incredibly lethargic and unmotivated to do anything. my hair is breaking at the roots. i cant breathe. i have become a huge introvert, people deplete me. etc. etc. etc. 

you never know what that tiny organ called the thyroid does till its gone! anyhow, for the last year i have been on a medicine called synthroid, which is a synthetic hormone. and without going into all the specific details of how all this stuff works, i have been telling my doctor i dont feel well and need something to change. well he simply looked at one thyorid level and said "you are fine". basically telling em to deal with it. and i tried. but you know what? this isnt me! and i am so sick of not being myself. the new me sucks. so i decided to find a new doctor. and i found two new ones.

the problem is, they told me completely opposite things! what is a girl to do? in the thyroid world, there are basically two camps: those that believe in simply using T4 and those that believe in T3 and T4 (i realize this is crazy language for most of you, try to stick with me). and these two camps tell you to treat your symptoms in completely opposite ways. and the poor patient is left sitting here on a thursday night scouring the internet trying to find the truth!! 

the point is... i am stuck. i dont know which doctor to believe or which path to take. please pray for me to have wisdom and discernment. and grace and patience. bc at this point i am ready to punch a doctor in the face! haha! but seriously, please pray that the Lord would lead me to hat would work for my body. He made me, He knit me together in my mothers womb, He knows what my body needs. I just need Him to make that clear to me... if He makes it clear to any of you, will you let me know? ;) 

a look at my dining room table this week

so my hubby is preaching at church this week, due to the fact that our pastor is heading to a conference all week and needed to begin focusing for the next week's sermon now. he and i are super excited bc he doesnt get this opportunity all that often... but here is what my table looks like: 

haha! normally this table is completely clean (well with the occasional bill sitting on the corner reminding me to pay it), but this week Justin has brought home a million books and papers and declared this his desk. it is so sweet watching him get so passionate and serious about preparing this message. 

dont misinterpret what i am saying to think that he doesnt prepare well for all of our youth lessons, but because of the short notice this week he has to cram alot of study and research into a few days. so be praying for my dear husband as he challenges my church body from the text of Luke 5 & 6 on the importance of discipleship (a topic near and dear to the both of us)!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

so i am just a little quirky...

for some reason today, i seemed to really notice all of my quirks or weird things about me. so i decided i should share them, then i will have them neatly written out if anyone ever asks me to list them... bc that happens all the time.

1. i run into things alot. i guess i have no peripheral sensor, so i run into the sides of door frames or ends of furniture often. i remembered this one today after i ran into the open car door that i knew was there but thought was further away from me. i proceeded to get angry with myself and the door (it really hurt)

2. having more than 15 emails in my inbox freaks me out. seriously i get hardcore stressed. so i make folders. i have over 15 folders in my hotmail account. did anyone see me last week (pre-Veritas)? i will blame any craziness on my inbox, which had over 50 emails in it that were all pertinent at the time and could not be pushed aside! 

3. i hate to be left out of conversations. but not in the way most people do. see, it is not that i want to really know the info or am hurt that a group wouldnt include me. i just have some internal need to know everything that is said around me. its like i cant stop myself from asking "what did you say" even when i know it is none of my business and i wont care anyhow. forgive me people- just amuse me?!

4. i pick. lips, skin, nails, scabs, pens etc. i pick at things. i love to tear things apart. my husband hates this, and i hate that he hates it. as you can tell it is an issue in the pate house. if you see him flick me bc of my picking take up for me please!

5. i have an amazing ability to tune things out when i am either a) watching tv or a movie, or b) reading something on the internet. ask the millions of people i share an office with, they will tell you. ask my husband- another thing he hates. (i promise he loves me, despite the way it is looking in this post)

6. i have an inability to not be bossy or dominant in my demeanor. i try very hard. i try to convince myself and others that i am infact very laid back or passive. but lets be honest- i am not convincing anyone. it is ingrained in me. often i hear myself and think "sabrina stop it! you are so overbearing sometimes!" but there is no stopping it. (i do want to state that this is not always a negative trait, just for the record)

well i am sure there are many more, but for now this will have to do. i gotta head back up to campus for 180. hope you enjoy my weirdness, or at least i hope you find it endearing instead of annoying haha! 

Sunday, April 12, 2009

oh the joys of homeownership!

everyone should know there are lots of things to think about when deciding if you are ready to buy a home or should continue to rent. 

i spent all my precious "free time" or non- work time this weekend on one of these:


now that Justin and I are proud "homebuyers", we are learning to take care of this place that is supposedly an investment in our future. it has been an interesting journey so far. only a month after we moved in we had plumbing problems, and we had to learn how to figure out what is wrong, who to call and how expensive it all is! we have been researching and praying through what updates (that we can afford) will bring back the most worth to our home. it makes you grow up quickly, that is for sure!

but it is spring. and in spring things come back to life. with life comes growth. so what we have is lots and lots of growth in our yard. so this weekend we began to tackle the problem. can you tell?  

the people who lived here before us apparently really liked gardening. so they planted stuff everywhere... i mean everywhere. we have random junk popping up all over our yard, in the most random places. we spent most of the last two days digging up these bulb things that look like onions on the bottom. they are in the front, back and side yard. here is a pic of the side yard and my darling hubby working hard at digging up those onion things. 

All in all, I am just glad we are learning how to be adults and get the job done. It was a productive weekend, and I guess it was better than taking an afternoon nap?? The jury is still out on that...

Sunday, April 5, 2009

joey pate

well, at the very beginning of december our family grew to four. 

we got a dog. joey. he was already named- we weren't trying to be cute and have the names of our pets sound so alike. (anytime we say on
e of their names they both turn and look at us like "what?") 

since my old computer was so slow and hated pics, i never got around to introducing him to the blog world. so here are some pics of my fabulous, large and cuddly boy joey!

Isn't he cute?
He has claimed this chair as his own...

He smiles! He is a happy go lucky doggie. 

He really thinks he is a toy poodle... he loves to sit on top of you- literally! 

And so that I am not playing favorites... I had to sneak one of my fat cat  zoey in! (as she sits on my freshly cleaned towels!)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

inside the life of campus ministry

i love campus ministry. i have spent the last eight years of my life devoted to it in one form or another. and as some of you know, i will be saying goodbye to a direct role in campus ministry this may. my heart breaks as i type the words. so this post is just going to be some thoughts on recent happenings in campus ministry and my thoughts about leaving.

any of you that know me well (i love how i act like there are tons of readers to address, hehe), know that i love the movie "You've got mail". I could watch it over and over (wait-i have watched it over and over). there is a part in the movie where meg ryan is talking about closing her store and she says "its as if a part of me is closing with it". I feel the same way with leaving my beloved job at the BCM. It is time for me to go, and while i am excited just for a change in my life, I am also so sad to have to say goodbye. So much of who I am has come out of this ministry. 

last night another campus minister from the state spoke at 180. he is always a great speaker- funny but full of depth and wisdom. it just made my heart happy, bc it reminded me how fun campus ministry. students are so full of life and funny, never the same and always figuring out who they are. they have the whole world at their fingertips and the sky is the limit to what they can do. they get to be with friends till the wee hours of morning. they can live, work and play all at the same place if they so choose. college is really the good life. the funny thing is- you never know it till your out i think. 

the past three weeks in college ministry have been very very very busy. spring break in a  blizzard, council interviews, veritas planning, a good friend having a baby, seeing family, youth events... busy. so i have determined that one thing i wont miss is being so so busy. but then i have to wonder, what will i do? i am sure i will be able to find a million things to fill up my time, but it is a strange thing to imagine staying home on a tuesday night for awhile.  

well... i know these have been short random incomplete thoughts on things... but in my head it all made complete sense. welcome to my head!