A friend shared a great blogpost titled "Grace for the Working Mother and her guilt". Read it, then head back here for some thoughts: http://lisajobaker.com/2013/01/grace-for-the-working-mother-and-her-guilt/
If you have been a reader of this little blog for the long haul (do I even have readers these days?) then you should know I struggled BIG TIME when I had to return to work after having Griffin. Pretty much, I struggled the whole first year and a half. Struggled, as in cried at least twice a day for months on end. I would be holding Griffin on the couch for his dream fed and just stare at him for over thirty minutes after because I couldn't bare to put him back in his room, I felt I hadn't seen him all day. It was a rough time.
The older he got, the easier working seemed to get. Maybe because he can interact more? I am finally at a much better place where I am actually enjoying work (well, as much as you can enjoy work) and home. But then when I start thinking that, the dadgum guilt rears its ugly head.
Just like she says in her post, this isn't a post about wether women should work or not. Another day another time.
But the phrases like "if you really wanted to stay home you would sacrifice" or "we just sacrifice a lot bc we believe mom Should be home, maybe you should look at your budget" just do not help. I like how in the post she just gives the mom grace and defends the fact that you may not know the circumstances. When you say things like the above, you make the mom (who is already feeling guilty and missing her kids) feel like she is just selfish and not willing to give up her lavish lifestyle.
So just two random reasons for me posting this. One, to link the article because I found it very encouraging. Two, please just think about the things you say to working moms before you say them (or all people for that paper!). Three,
to encourage those of tou working moms that it really does get easier eventually (although it took quite awhile for me). And four, don't assume you understand someone else's situation. Give grace and love.
Lots and lots of grace.
- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone