As I have mentioned before, I will not be working at the BCM after this May. And i have no idea what I am moving on to. Well, May is coming sooner than I thought, and the BCM is getting into "plan for next year" mode. and I am not a part of most of it. sad times.
i mean, it really is a good thing- moving on. this is what is best for my family right now, and that is my top priority. i am excited for a change in my life. i am excited for a new challenge and new scene. i am excited to see my husband more. i am excited to pour into my youth more. i am excited to see someone else do this job and be blessed thru it. i am excited.
but I am sad too. i am sad to leave a ministry i love so so much. i am sad to leave such an exciting area of ministry- the campus. i am sad to leave my boss who is so wonderful (i probably dont remember that enough). i am sad to leave where i am comfortable. i am sad to not be a part of the new things they will do next year. i am sad to leave meeting with students one on one and just hearing them grow and fall more in love with Christ each day. i am sad to pack up my office, that i have practically lived in for four years. i am sad.
i knew this process would be a hard one, but this week it has really become real to me. i am not a part of interviewing students to be parents. i am not a part of planning the council planning retreat. i am not part of the new exec meeting. i am not a part. i feel terribly left out.
and i hate being left out. you see i shouldnt be a part of these things, the new staff should. and i am soo excited for them and what entering this phase of their life will be like. but i am soo sad to be leaving this phase of my life. for better or for worse, i have loved this job. the students i have had the honor of working with, the events i have been able to be a part of, even the challenges i have had to work thru, all of this has been such an amazing process for me.
and it is time to say goodbye. and that is never easy. letting go is never easy.