I have a confession... A few actually.
1. Remember how I was working on memorizing Phillipians? Well, I haven't worked on it since July. And from February to July I only memorized chapter one. Yep, I am no good at this!
2. Remember how I was doing that 90 day challenge? Well I haven't worked on it in almost a week.
Now that I got those things off of my chest, let me get to the point. I am slacking! But I have been looking at my Spiritual life this last week and just asking myself 'what am I doing to seek God daily?' And I have realized something.
I overspiritualize things. Sometimes I take a perfectly fine thing and make it 'the thing that will grow my faith'. I did this with the 90 day challenge. I determined that because I would be reading such a big chunk of scripture each day that I would just automatically be able to see the beauty of how it all fits together and Gods big plan. And that could definitely be one outcome.... It just has not been mine.
I have really struggled with this plan. It's a lot of scripture each day, and it was way too much for me to make sense of during my quiet time each morning. Because I have such a legalistic tendancy, I just kept going into "gotta get it done" mode even when I tried not to. I have made it to 1 kings, but I have decided it is time to change it up.
I am quitting. I know, I am a big fat quitter! And I have actually thought about continuing just so I don't seem like a quitter, yep that's how prideful I am. But right now it's a hinderance to my time with the Lord, not a blessing.
So I am going to be slowing it down and taking things slow for awhile. But in reference to my first confession, I am not going to quit on Phil. The whole reason I started it was because I have always sucked at scripture memory. So I am not letting myself off the hook on that one.
So starting today, the 1st of sept., I am renewing my goal to memorize that whole dang book. And I am straight up quitting my goal to read the bible in 90 days. So should you call me a quitter or a starter??
- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone
I don't think you are a quitter! I honestly would not be able to do the 90 day challenge if I were still working a full-time job. And it's tough. I honestly am loving it (most of the time--sometimes it's hard to keep my eyes open) but if I had more on my plate it would not happen.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think it's awesome that you are going to start back up w/memorizing Philippians!
Thanks for you honesty--and you're not a quitter--you just know your limits and can recognize when something is not going to be a fruitful use of your time!
thanks for the encouragement dear!
ReplyDeletehaha- and i was logged in as justin when i wrote that... so no my hubby didnt just call you dear! hehe!
ReplyDeleteYou know I always appreciate and respect your honesty and open-ness. You're totally not a quitter...you're making the best decision for you. As always, I'm proud of you. Go for the Phillipians...you can definitely do that! You're always challenging yourself and that's definitely something to be proud of! Love ya!
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