I was texting with a mom of a one week old today, and trying to encourage her as much as I can. She is totally in love with her new little guy, of course, but is just experiencing the new overwhelming world of motherhood. She used the phrase "life changing", and it is!
Motherhood turns your life upside down. We all know that. But I think the shocking thing is more so that it effects every tiny aspect of your life. We kinda expect that, but not fully.
For nine months the focus is on you- how your pregnancy is going and how you feel. Then BAM, that baby comes and now the focus is on them (and rightly so, right? They are so cute!). And you are suddenly bombarded with everyone else's opinions on how to mother this child, with feelings of inadequacy and anxiety over having no clue what you are doing, and the sudden realization that it will not be just you and your hubby again for a very long time.
Yes, you knew all of this was coming before, and everyone kept telling you. But suddenly the new reality is here and it hits you like a ton of bricks on one side, while sleep exhaustion hits you on the other. Add a crazy wave of hormones, and you have yourself one hard month or so - emotionally, mentally, physically, and relationally.
I do not really think telling preggos about this helps. What I do think helps is encouraging new moms in the thick of it that it's normal and they are doing great! You need to hear that 500 times a day when your newborn won't eat and only wants to scream his cute little head off. You are not the first mom to have no clue what they are doing. Other moms have suddenly mourned the loss of their life as young newlyweds without a care in the world. This does not mean you do not love this new gift from the Lord more than any words can express. It is just part of the process. What you will soon realize is you will be doing this mourning the past phase while being excited over the new phase over and over throughout this little ones life. I am so excited to see Griffin getting close to crawling, but I am so sad my tiny newborn is gone. We never get enough of most seasons of life.
So, if you are soon to enter this new phase of motherhood, I warn you that your life will never be the same. You already know that, right?
Maybe I will just come tell you once it happens... You'll understand then. It will hit you just like BAM.
Clara’s Dragon Party
13 hours ago