in my "no other gods" study this week i have been looking at the problem with 'people gods', or letting people be our functional gods. it has really hit home with me. i want to share just a few challenges points for me.
1. "Out of my own desperate to be chosen and loved, I have often hoped that what I could bring to the table would win the heart of the person I wanted to love me."
This has been a truth in my life since I was tiny. Most of you have heard me talk about what a manipulator I can be, and definitely have been in the past. One of my biggest struggles in life is that I think I can do anything, I can control everything, I am capable of anything. Some people might look at that sentence and think that this kind of self confidence is a good thing that most people lack, but for me it is the root of all my sin. I try to be my own god; I try to manifest my own destiny.
The whole "what i could bring to the table" phrase really struck my heart this week, because I am always trying to think of what i can do to get that persons approval, to win that persons love, to get those peoples attention etc. I am realizing that I do this with everyone in life practically! My husband, friends, family, acquaintances, my church, my youth, my blog readers, the list goes on and on... I think i even do this with my dog for crying out loud!
2. During the bible study this week we have read about Leah and Rachel in Gen. 29-31. Here is a basic recap (but I do recommend reading it, as the Lord says it much better than I can):
Jacob loved Rachel and worked 7 years to marry her, only to be tricked into marrying Leah her older sister. So he worked another 7 years to have Rachel too. So two sisters are married to the same guy, and he loves Rachel not Leah. Well Leah has several children, but Rachel was barren. Both of the sisters end up giving their servant women to Jacob to have kids thru them (anybody remember how great that worked out for Sarah and Hagar?). Eventually Rachel had a kid of her own (and later she had one more but not during this part of the story).
Here is the deal though: Leah was homely, unloved by her husband and miserable. Rachel was beautiful, loved by her husband, had a child and was miserable. One of them had everything and was miserable, the other one did not have what she wanted and she was miserable. What is the point?
"The point is that it doesn't matter if you have it all and get everything your heart desires, or if you're left wanting and unloved. Neither works. The two women had vastly different circumstances, yet both were left hungry. Why? Because God was not their ultimate thing."
3. She goes on to tell us that the way to really experience God is through obedience. Basically through a life that agrees with God, that tries to take Him at His word and live it out. A life that choses to believe God, if He says something is bad for us then we stay away, if He says something will be good for us then we do it.
Summary: For me the thing is too often i am my ultimate thing. I can try to blame it on media, friends, money etc... but in the end my problem is me. I make the choices, I get what I want, I focus on me. What I have to fight for daily, MOMENT BY MOMENT, is to put God where He belongs in my heart and mind and life- as the Ultimate thing. As the one in control, the one who calls the shots, the one who everything is for, the one I am trying to please simply because I love Him, the one who makes the rules.
Mr. Ultimate of Sabrina's heart, mind, soul, strength... it sounds so much easier when Jesus said this is the greatest commandment.... thought I had it in the bag.... think again!