Silver Lining

It's no secret I wish I could be a stay-at-home mom instead of working outside the home, but since thats just where we are I am trying to suck it up and love my blessed life as is. I really am blessed beyond belief.

So one neat thing about my child being in day care? They make cute little crafts with him that I can have as little memories!



His Halloween pumpkin patch, made with his palms and heels.






His Turkey, made with his handprint. Miss Danielle said as soon as she put the paint on his hand he balled his fist up and wouldn't open it! Ha!






And his ornament I got today! I can't wait to have a tree full of his homemade ornaments! (well I can bc I want him to quit growing so fast!!!)

I am thankful that my daycare makes these cute things with him!

I love this little guys creations!
- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Another Day 2

So this is Day 2 of dropping Griff off at a daycare. Up until now he has stayed with a friend or my family and I have not had to worry one bit about the kind of care he is receiving. I knew he was being loved and cared for. End of story.

But now we are embarking on a whole new journey.... Daycare.

I know I am not the first. It will be fine. I grew up in daycare and look how fabulous I am- ha! But it is just a different experience leaving your pride and joy with complete strangers. Yesterday I worried all day about the type of care he was receiving. Were they loving on him? Did he nap? Did he get fed when he needed too? It was horrid and I was a complete mess.

When I picked him up he seemed fine. I got very annoyed bc they did not fill out all of his "cuddle gram", the piece of paper that tells me about how he ate and napped and diapers etc. It did not say a thing about his naps, or his last two feedings. Really?? So Mr.Pate is going by today to talk to them about that, and just to pop in and see what is going on in the middle of the day.

As with everything these days, they say it gets easier. When is that supposed to happen exactly? Because I am not really feeling like any of it is easier, but harder as I go. Ugh.

But you know what? The Lord is gracious. This morning I was blessed to have a smiling and cooing and hilarious baby boy, that continued to look up at me and smile like a goof during nursing. He was such a ray of hope and light to start my day. That is the Lord's mercy to me. Thank you Lord, for blessings I do not deserve!

"22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
25 The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. " Lamentations 3:22-27



- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Here's to it...

Heading into my first full day back. Pray for peace and a quick day and lots of energy left at the end of the day for my two favorite men! (and my fav doggie)



- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Working it Out

I made it through week one of working part-time. I have one more week of part-time and then I am back to the full-time daily grind. So far I have been a hot mess! I cried everyday except Friday. In fact, I was so upset over all of it that my dad was worried I was dealing with PPD.

BUT I am doing much better I think. I have been thinking about it all a lot, and praying a bunch. And I am starting to feel ok with it all. Here are the things I have been struggling with:

- One of the biggest things I think I was struggling with was the fear that Griffin would like the babysitter better than me, or that we would not have as close of a bond as stay at home moms have with their kids. I just felt like I wouldn't know him best. And I want to know him better than anyone... But the thing is I am his momma. Only me. And he and I were literally inseparable for almost ten months. He likes me so much he wanted to stay in for two extra weeks! I just have to know and trust that the Lord made me Griffin's mom and Griffin will always know that. Apparently this is a normal fear?

- Many of my friends stay at home with their kids. I think I have really been struggling with feeling like I must not care as much for Griffin if I was not willing to quit my job to be home with him. So often people say that anyone can stay home if they are willing to sacrifice. But for us the only way I can stay home is for Mr.Pate to completely change jobs. 1. Getting a job that doubles your salary is not something you can do with a snap of the fingers. 2. We love our church and feel very called there. I need to quit comparing.

- I have also struggled with feeling like it is more godly for the woman to stay home, so I have felt mad that I can't stay home. But this is just dumb. Working isn't wrong and neither is staying home. The Lord directs our paths, and everyones journey is different. One is not more spiritual than the other. Now I do believe my main role from the Lord is to be a wife and mom, and those roles should be my top priorities. But for our journey right now, we need me to work to be a good wife and mother.

- I have just struggled with wanting to stay home but not being able to and feeling like it's not fair. Woe is me- I have a great job that is not hard or burdensome and is with great people. Some people cannot afford to feed their families, poor me for having to work. Basically I have been almost pouting because I can't have what I want. There are people who can't even have children, and they would be thrilled to have a few hours in the morning and at night with their own child.

It's all in our perspective. I would love to stay home, but since that is not feasible right now I need to choose to joy anyhow. Talking to my friend about this, she said "don't we have to choose to be happy sometimes?" And it's true. My husband deserves a wife that is rejoicing in this fun new season of our family, not one who is whining. The Lord knows the desire of my heart and will always lead me where I need to go. For now I am clinging to Paul's words in Phil 4:11-13

11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Please continue praying that I will have a content heart in all aspects of my
Life!

- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Day Two

Well I just dropped the boy off for the 2nd time and I am walking into work (forgot how much I hate parking at wku, it's like a five minute walk to my building! Ugh). I cried a lot yesterday. It's not the actual being away from him, it's the knowing that I have to do this five days out of the seven in a week. Everyone says it gets easier. I only missed four hours yesterday and I felt like I missed most of his day! Ugh! Thankfully I have a good job with great people, but it's not the job I really want to be doing! I wish I had like four months of maternity leave!!


- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Attention Working Moms!

So I return to work on Monday. I get to do part time for two weeks, so that's a blessing. But I am bummed. I do not want to leave my boy.

Moms that work outside of the home, how do you make it through? Do you feel like you have no time with the kid? Do you feel like you spend all your time at night getting everything ready for the next day?

I am in need of lots of encouragement. I feel like everywhere I look people are stay at home moms. I feel like I am going to miss everything and he will barely know me! I feel like we will have no time with him because we won't get home until basically 5 and he will go to bed so early anyhow. Will it feel like that?? Ugh!!! And the thing is, I have been crunching numbers like crazy, but there is just no way.

I have got to get a better attitude about this and stat! Any advice?


- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone