What I thought.... and what it is

I have been pondering lately all the things I thought life with a kid would be like. You know, those thoughts we all have before kids where we mentally (or oftentimes verbally) note what we will or will not do as parents?

• "I will never let my kid throw a fit in the middle of Kroger."
• "My kid will not talk back to me."
• "I am not letting my kid use a pacifier."
• "I will never complain about my kids."
• "I will not let my kid watch tv, their minds need better stimulation."
• "I will always clean my house, I would never let it get that messy."
• "I will continue to blog even after kids, I mean how hard is it to blog? Why does everyone quit once they have kids!"
• "My kid will be on a schedule and sleep. We will not revolve around him!"

Yada yada yada...or whatever your particular thoughts happen to be. The point is, we all have pictures in our head of how it will be (really about every new stage of life, not just kids). And then reality hits. And man, it sure does not look like the picture in our heads.

• My kid may have thrown a fit in all kinds of public places.
• My kid just may tell me "NO!" quite often.
• Our pacifier might have been a lifeline the first year of his life.
• I may complain about fits or lack of sleep or lack of personal space from time to time. 
• The kid may watch tv first thing every.single.morning so mommy can get ready. 
• He may also watch Elmo many other times in the day. It just depends on how our day is shaking out. 
• The house might look like a war zone from time to time... maybe more time than less. 
• The poor blog might have weeks of neglect quite often. 
• My kid may sleep awesome. He may go a few months not sleeping at all. Who even knows anymore. 

Parenting takes you by storm. No matter how much you prepare, you just cannot prepare. You are parenting a tiny human. And tiny humans are very unpredictable. And they are full of life and personality and sin. The Lord desires to teach us a ton through them. And that is gonna look way different for each one of us.

So what would I say to someone trying to prepare for this crazy journey called parenting?? Sure, read the books, take the classes and hear the advice. Soak in as much as you can of course. The more you know the better.

Then prepare your heart and mind for the truth that your situation will be your own. And no one but the Lord can help you with it really. 

"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)
"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." (Proverbs 19:21)

Breathe and remember that the Lord has called you to this, and He will bring you through it. There are a million and one ways to raise a kid. Yes some are clearly better than others, but many are great. Don't get caught up in trying to be the best parent in the eyes of the world, or your church, or your friends, or facebook. Aim to be the best parent you can in the eyes of the Lord. One full of humility and love and grace. ^"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Matt 6:33. 

So yes, parenthood looks different than I pictured it for sure. My kid disobeys me all day long right now (Yay toddlerhood!). But the Lord has given soooo much grace and blessing. I also didn't picture how my heart would almost explode every time those tiny fingers play with my hair, or those little arms wrapped around my neck, or that sweet little voice said "wuv you". I didn't picture nights filled with "tackling" mommy and daddy in the living room floor and laughing so much I cry. I didn't envision adoring every new 'trick' he does or getting to share a smile with my beloved every time we are amazed at how smart he is. The grace abounds. I was too wrapped up in picturing how perfectly I would raise a tiny human, I couldn't picture how the Lord would use one to raise me closer to Him. 

It may not be what I thought... but what it is... is so much more. 

Sleep- it is for the birds

Griffin has been a good sleeper from day 1, of course day 1-14 were spent in the NICU where they really get you scheduled. But he started sleeping thru the night around six weeks! Amazing. I should never complain I know. Lately though, Griff has been waking several times a night! At first we thought it was because he was congested, but now I think we have a habit on our hands.

Sleep and babies is hard. They respond well to routine and consistency, but you have to merge that with your life. We have been sporadic about his bedtime lately. It's hard to always be home at 7:30! And he can now roll over, and I thought he was trying to while swaddled the other day. So I decided maybe we should drop the swaddle...

We tried that last Thursday night. FAIL. He woke a ton! I finally swaddled his arms in the wee hours of morning and he slept some. So we are back to swaddling fully for now.

Friday night he was miserable from his shots and had a fever. No sleep. Poor thing!

Saturday night he sleep soundly all night! Could have been a mix of being tired, medicine, got him down at the right time etc. Who knows??

So for now my sleep plan is to try hard to get him in be by 7:30-7:45, dreamfeed around 9:45-10, and swaddle. This is what has worked on the nights he has slept.

Oh sleep- it's so funny that when we are children we fight it, then as adults we long for it!

Isnt it ironic... Don't ya think?... A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think...

3 Months Old!

3 Months Old

Three Month Stats:

• We dont go back to the doctor till 4 months, so I do not know what the boy weighs or how long etc. 
• Clothing: He is in 0-3 month and 3-6 month. He is almost too long for a lot of the 0-3 month clothing. 
• Nursing: We are still at it! Yay! A feeding takes around 15-20 minutes still. I am so glad we kept at it, because I love having this time with him! Pumping at work isnt so bad either. 
• Griffin is still spitting up like crazy! We are trying the chiropractor and probiotics right now, so Ill keep you posted on how that goes. 
• Schedule: We are still mostly on a 3 hour schedule. Naps at daycare are random and usually not long, which is frustrating. Any ideas on how to fix this??? On the weekends he naps great for me. 
• Nighttime Sleep: Griffin was sleeping from 7:30ish until 6:30 in the morning, except for the dreamfeed around 9:30. But for a week of the last month he randomly woke up several times a night crying.... and now every couple of nights he cries in his sleep until we go put his pacifier back in his mouth. Weird. 
• Griffin loves to sit up now (assisted of course in his bumbo or on your lap). He wants to see what is going on! 
• The boy is blowing spit bubbles or slobbering at almost all times. 
• His hands LIVE in his mouth right now. 
• He is trying hard to laugh, but cant quite do it yet. It makes for some funny sounds. 
• He can now reach out and grab toys on purpose. He also can put his paci back into his mouth most of the time (its a wubbanub). 
• We started carrying him front facing in the flip carrier and he loves that. I also started doing the hug hold instead of the newborn hug hold with the moby. Much more comfy for him, he is too long for the newborn one. 
• He rolled over for the first time!! This was actually the week after he turned 3 months, but since I am late with this post Ill include it now. He rolled from front to back this weekend! Yay! Still hates tummy time though. 
• He makes noises all the time! 

I cannot believe its been 3 months. I love this kid sooo much!!!

So Funny!

Someone posted this on Facebook and I just had to share...

"Awake Training" for Mommies

Dear Fellow Babies,
OK, here’s my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 5 months. The first few months were great – I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, around the clock. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep thru the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse.

I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like its pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 5-6 months. Here’s the thing: these Mommies don’t really need to sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep – they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1 – cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.

Night 2 – cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3 – every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights. Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I know it’s hard! But she really does not need the sleep; she is just resisting the change.. If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.

The other night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with:

-My sleep sack tickled my foot.
-I felt a wrinkle under the sheet.
-My mobile made a shadow on the wall.
-I burped, and it tasted like rice cereal. I hadn’t eaten rice cereal since breakfast, what’s up with that?
-The dog said “ruff”. I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL.
-Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room.
-Too hot, too cold, just right – doesn’t matter! Keep crying!!
-I had drooled so much my sheets were damp and I didn’t like it touching me.
-I decided I was sick of all the pink in my room so I cried.

It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies’ internal clocks.

Sometimes my Mommy will call for reinforcements by sending in Daddy. Don’t worry Daddies are not set up for not needing sleep the way Mommies are. They can only handle a few pats and shhing before they declare defeat and send in the Mommy.

Also, be wary of the sleep sheep with rain noises. I like to give Mommy false hope that listening to the rain puts me to sleep sometimes I pretend to close my eyes and be asleep and then wait until I know Mommy is settling back to sleep to spring a surprise cry attack. If she doesn’t get to me fast enough I follow up with my fake cough and gag noise that always has her running to the crib. At some point I am positive she will start to realize that she really doesn’t really need sleep.

P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out.

Trust me.

Sincerely,
B

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater

The weather around here has been amazing! I mean, AMAZING! So today we took advantage of Mr.Pate having a day off (woo hoo!) and went to Jackson's Orchard. Its a local Orchard that has tons of family fun going on. We had not been in a few years, and wow have they stepped up their game. They have a huge playground area for only $2 a kid, hayrides, pumpkins everywhere, a petting zoo, pony rides, and yummy treats.

Griffin is still too young for all of that, so we just tried to have a little photo shoot... have I mentioned I have a spit-upy- baby? Poor pumpkins! Griffin spit up several times while we tried our best to get some good shots. I overexposed a lot of the pics, ugh! But here they are none the less... warning- if you dont like baby throw up dont look at the last one! Ha!

 Love this face: 

 Why, hello cutie! 

 He dove forward and licked this pumpkin before we could stop him... nice kid. 

And now the one with vomit.... just a warning in case you dont want to look.....

I want to remember what Griffin's early days were like, and they include lots of these moments so far! Ha! 

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Two Months Old!

Griffin is 2 Months Old! 

Wow this is going sooo fast! I cannot believe our little guy is a 2 month old! 

Here he is at 2 weeks old:

And at 1 Month Old:

And at 2 Months Old:

Two Month Stats:

• Griffin weighed in at 11 lbs 11 oz at his checkup. He is 24" long now! He has grown 3" since birth, and he was long at birth! I think its funny that my son is long... ha! This puts him in the 38th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for length! Ha!
• Clothing: He is wearing 0-3 month clothing and some 3-6 month clothing. He is too long for all of his newborn clothes now. Most of the 0-3 and all of the 3-6 are still big width wise, so I guess he is kinda skinny. But I dont think he looks super long and skinny? Who knows. 
• Nursing: We are still going strong with the nursing. He is getting better at it and rarely fusses now. A typical nursing session only takes about 15 minutes now (instead of 45 like it used to!). 
• He is still spitting up a lot. 
• Schedule: Still on a 3 hr schedule usually, where we eats, has playtime and then naps. Every since I came back to work naps have been interesting. He will usually sleep about an hour during naps on weekends, but during the week he is waking up on and off during them. And fyi- he is not a happy camper when he wakes from a nap early. And usually one nap a day is 1 & 1/2 hr long. We start our day at 6:30am. Here is what the typical day looks like for him right now:
• 6:30am wake and eat
• 7:30-7:45am I leave and he goes down for nap
• 9:30am eat
• 11:00am nap
• 12:30pm eat
• 2pm nap
• 3:30pm eat
• 4:45pm I get home! catnap somewhere in this time frame
• 6:00 or 6:30pm eat
• 7:30pm or 8pm down for the night
• 9:30 dreamfeed (I get him up to eat then he goes right back to bed)
• Nightime Sleep: As soon as I went back to work, Griffin started sleeping long stretches at night! Woo Hoo! It was the Lord's grace I do believe. Currently he will usually sleep from 7:30ish until the dreamfeed, and then I put him back down at 10ish. He will sleep from 10pm-6:30am!!! Not every single night, but most nights now! Yay! Isnt that incredible? On the nights that he doesnt do that, he usually wakes up around 3am for some reason.
• Griffin loves to smile now and has the cutest smile ever!
• He is loving to make spit bubbles these days and slobbers a ton.
• He is making all kinds of noises, which we call "talking" to us. It is so fun!
• He loves his playmat! He is just starting to bat at the hanging things. 
• I saw him reach out and grab a toy for the first time last week! Yay! 
• He is obssessed with eating his hand. 
• He sits in his highchair at the table with us and loves it. He is also just starting to sit in the bumbo and seems to like it too. 
• Still hates tummy time. A lot. 
• He has lost a strip of hair around his head, where he lays on it. But he has a thick strip of hair at the bottom and top, so it looks super funny. I have to take a picture soon. 
• Still not a fan of the swing. He likes his bouncer, but I just dont put him in it often. 
• He still falls asleep in the car everytime, and on walks. 
• We now wear him in the flip carrier and the moby. Love wearing him around!
• He got Joey kisses for the first time this month! And he loves it! Haha! 

I am so incredibly in love with this little guy. Beginning motherhood was rough for me I think. The emotions were overwhelming. But I am now totally obsessed! Ha! I went back to work when Griffin was 6 weeks old, and that has been a tough transition. We are still working on it. I miss him so much during the day. Looking back at his 1 month post made me remember being at home with him all day every day in the beginning. He was in the NICU at first of course, and then the first two weeks he was home I was so overwhelmed that I couldnt really enjoy it.  So I feel like I really only got 2 good weeks of maternity leave before coming back. I came back part-time for two weeks so that helped a lot. Emotionally I feel much more like myself this month vs last month. I sooo adore seeing Mr.Pate with Griffin. He is such a good dad and an amazing husband. Sharing this parenting journey with him really does make me love him even more!

Happy Two Months Griffin! (Or as I often call you- Cutie Potootie) 

Making progress and a busy day

1. I am at the thyroid dr. Yay... Haha. Anyhow, just got weighed and I am now only ten lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight. Thank you breastfeeding. I hear the last ten is the hardest though.

2. I fit in some of my pre preggo pants! I am not sure my hips will ever fit back into my smallest jeans though, and that's ok.

3. My son is awesome. Yesterday I nurses twice at church using my cover with success! (using a nursing cover is not as easy as it looks!) And no fits! Yay!

4. Today we are having a marathon day in TN. Griffin will meet lots of people and I hope be in a good mood! We shall see.

5. My nieces love Griffin and they are so cute with him! My dad an nieces came up yesterday for a quick visit. My oldest niece is basically as tall as me now, seriously? She is growing up so fast!










And this was Griffins outfit at church yesterday. So cute!


Happy Monday!

- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Sleep

Griffin's sleep tally last night:
- 3 1/2 hours
- 4 1/2 hours
- 3 1/2 hours

So Awesome buddy! Thanks!

He always sleeps pretty good at night. He goes right down after all feedings with no fussing and doesn't wake up in between usually. And he almost always does 3 hours at night and mostly one 4 hour stretch too. He has started stretching those out little by little and I am glad he is starting to stretch them out a little more! Yay!



- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Babies don't keep...

Today some of my best friends came to visit and meet Griffin. I love fellowship with these ladies. It ministers straight to my soul. I needed today. These ladies are all moms or soon to be moms. It was really good to hear that my child is not the only one who spits up a lot, or takes a long time to nurse, or whatever etc. As a mom, I question everything and wonder if it's normal or if I am royally screwing up at this. It was comforting to feel like I am doing ok.

One of my friends has two girls (cuties), and as she left she told me something that I really needed to hear. She told me I was doing a good job, and that it gets easier. She said that after six weeks it gets much easier, until 3 months and then at six months it gets really really fun.

And you know what? I feel like each week it really is much easier. Each week I feel more confident, less emotionally unstable, and like I am enjoying him more and worrying less. If he is crying and I just can't console him, I won't traumatize him. If I give in and hold him thru his nap, I won't ruin him. He and I will both make it thru this new and uncertain beginning. In fact, we have made it thru a month and we are doing awesome!

And with that, I have to go. I am letting my son nap on me and it's almost feeding time again. Such sweet times, and I am trying to focus more on enjoying and savoring them instead of mastering how to schedule them etc.

Because I hear that babies don't keep...




- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Out cold

We are not the greatest at tummy time around here. Usually Griffin screams all during it. But today, the boy just fell out cold! Looks comfy! Haha!



- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Blessed

::: I am one blessed girl. I have a husband...

... that is always willing to get up in the middle of the night and help me with Griffin. He would even let me stay asleep if he could, but I am the only one who can feed the kid!
...that takes his free time off and tells me he will watch the kid, and I should go get my hair cut.
... that cooks me dinner.
... that is willing to change diapers (even cloth ones) and help clean up spit up.
... that continually reminds me we are in this together.
... that is daily showing me the love of Christ through his servanthood. He is constantly putting our (Griff and I) needs before his wants.

I really am one blessed girl.



- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Teen Mom and other late night thoughts

- I adore Tyler and Catelyn (sp?) on Teen Mom. They seem to be really good kids for the situations they have been in.
- I can't really stand the other moms on Teen Mom. Especially Amber. Drama. Why do I watch this show? I have no idea.
- Nursing has been going so much better, but then today we had two screaming nursing sessions. Ugh. Trying to feed your son when he is screaming bloody murder is the worst experience ever. It is so hard to tell if I should keep trying or of he wants to stop and all you want is to make him feel better. Blah.
- I got my hair cut the week before I had Griffin, so five weeks ago. The girl did not cut the back right and I have wanted to go back and get it fixed since then. Still haven't gone. One day right?
- loving this weather!
- Tonight I managed to cook dinner, pack it up, pack me and the boy up and deliver it to my hubby at Starbucks. Yep. Awesome.
- That was the first meal
I have cooked in over five weeks. Wow.
- I fit in one of my pre-pregnancy jeans. Yay!



- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Four weeks

Griffin is 4 weeks tonight. Actually about eight minutes ago to be exact. It is crazy to think that day was only 4 weeks ago. It feels like yesterday and also like a million years ago.

Life is getting better. I am getting more confident, and more comfortable with having no idea what I am doing. Most days are going well. Some days not so much. Today, the boy has refused to sleep! Normally he naps great, but he just wasn't feeling it today. What have I learned as a mom so far?

Tomorrow is a new day!









- Mrs.Pate via my iPhone

Bath Time!

* I just uploaded pics from my actual camera, so I am doing a little blogging make-up today.

Griffin's first bath at home

 Not the biggest fan...

 Daddy, let me outta here!

And the first bath in the baby bathtub

 Love this face! Ha!

 This one isnt so bad...