one down... a bunch to go!

well i have finished my first book from the book list! i am very proud of myself bc i actually read the entire thing... for those of you who dont know i have a terrible habit of reading two-thirds of a book and then starting a new one. 

anyhow, i am going to write a book review on here about the book. this will mostly be for me, so i can remind myself of what i liked etc. but dont worry i will label accordingly so those of you that are grossed out that i would even write the words book review on here can be warned! ha!

for those of you readers out there...

readers, as in you like to read books. not to be confused with readers, as in you like to read this blog (or others for that matter). maybe you are both!

i love to read. i havent done a ton of it in the past few years, but i am striving to get back into it. anyhow, a blog i love to read just did a post on how to read and still be frugal. so i thought i would share the link in case any of you are like me and do like to read, but dont have the money to constantly buy more books. or maybe you need to read it bc you need to learn to be more frugal! either way, enjoy!

http://www.passionatehomemaking.com/2009/06/keeping-reading-frugal.html

a gift from my study this week

i dont have time right now to truly reflect on all i am learning in the study this week, but i wanted to share a Tozer quote she included in one of the days. i hope it challenges you as much as it challenged me!

"We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety... But we need have no such fears. Our Lord came not to destroy but to save. Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed."

A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

Playing House

so this week Mr.Pate and I are babysitting and housesitting for a family at our church. what does this entail? watching three of their five children, three puppies, one wild dog and some baby chicks. we are living in smiths grove, out in the country. which if you know me then you know is a big stretch for me. i don't feel safe in the country... there is just too much darkness and I am not close enough to people! 

anyhow, these people have a great house with a pool, a tv in practically every room, a huge dream kitchen and a tanning bed! but... 

1. it has rained alot so we haven't enjoyed the pool yet 

2. i only have time to watch tv late at night after the kiddos are asleep but by then i am sleepy too so there is very little hgtv watching happening

3. i am not used to cooking for children and it never fails that kids' tastes suddenly change when mom is gone ("i don't eat that"- child... "your mom says you do"-me... "no i don't!"-child... "its this or nothing"-me.... child eventually eats the food) so the kitchen has not been as enjoyable as i would like

4. i have successfully laid in the tanning bed twice... this is the only perk i have taken advantage of, which if you know my mom and sister sounds about right... tanning is a priority in my family! ha (side-note: i haven't been in a tanning bed in three years!)

you would think watching children is great practice for the future, and I suppose there is some truth to that. but what i have found is that you spend majority of your time just trying to figure out how that family does stuff instead of practicing how you will do stuff... if i hear the statement "our mom doesn't do it that way" one more time!! 

no, but seriously, this week has been a blessing. the kids are good kids and play really well for the most part. they have learned that Mr.Pate and I mean business when we ask them to do something and they have learned to obey us very well. It has been (and always is when we babysit) fun to see Mr.Pate with the kids, that man is going to be such an amazing father!!! I am blessed! 

blogging about watching children gives me a craving to watch Adventures in Babysitting, anyone want to come over and join me? Ha...

Mr.Ultimate

in my "no other gods" study this week i have been looking at the problem with 'people gods', or letting people be our functional gods. it has really hit home with me. i want to share just a few challenges points for me.

1. "Out of my own desperate to be chosen and loved, I have often hoped that what I could bring to the table would win the heart of the person I wanted to love me."

This has been a  truth in my life since I was tiny. Most of you have heard me talk about what a manipulator I can be, and definitely have been in the past. One of my biggest struggles in life is that I think I can do anything, I can control everything, I am capable of anything. Some people might look at that sentence and think that this kind of self confidence is a good thing that most people lack, but for me it is the root of all my sin. I try to be my own god; I try to manifest my own destiny. 

The whole "what i could bring to the table" phrase really struck my heart this week, because I am always trying to think of what i can do to get that persons approval, to win that persons love, to get those peoples attention etc. I am realizing that I do this with everyone in life practically! My husband, friends, family, acquaintances, my church, my youth, my blog readers, the list goes on and on... I think i even do this with my dog for crying out loud! 

2. During the bible study this week we have read about Leah and Rachel in Gen. 29-31. Here is a basic recap (but I do recommend reading it, as the Lord says it much better than I can):

Jacob loved Rachel and worked 7 years to marry her, only to be tricked into marrying Leah her older sister. So he worked another 7 years to have Rachel too. So two sisters are married to the same guy, and he loves Rachel not Leah. Well Leah has several children, but Rachel was barren. Both of the sisters end up giving their servant women to Jacob to have kids thru them (anybody remember how great that worked out for Sarah and Hagar?). Eventually Rachel had a kid of her own (and later she had one more but not during this part of the story). 

Here is the deal though: Leah was homely, unloved by her husband and miserable. Rachel was beautiful, loved by her husband, had a child and was miserable. One of them had everything and was miserable, the other one did not have what she wanted and she was miserable. What is the point?

"The point is that it doesn't matter if you have it all and get everything your heart desires, or if you're left wanting and unloved. Neither works. The two women had vastly different circumstances, yet both were left hungry. Why? Because God was not their ultimate thing." 

3. She goes on to tell us that the way to really experience God is through obedience. Basically through a life that agrees with God, that tries to take Him at His word and live it out. A life that choses to believe God, if He says something is bad for us then we stay away, if He says something will be good for us then we do it. 

Summary: For me the thing is too often i am my ultimate thing. I can try to blame it on media, friends, money etc... but in the end my problem is me. I make the choices, I get what I want, I focus on me. What I have to fight for daily, MOMENT BY MOMENT, is to put God where He belongs in my heart and mind and life- as the Ultimate thing. As the one in control, the one who calls the shots, the one who everything is for, the one I am trying to please simply because I love Him, the one who makes the rules. 

Mr. Ultimate of Sabrina's heart, mind, soul, strength... it sounds so much easier when Jesus said this is the greatest commandment.... thought I had it in the bag.... think again!