a little starbucks, a new obsession, some goals, and a new friend

 i am sitting here in "my husband's starbucks" as i fondly refer to it, and perusing the blog world. and thought i would share a few different things on my brain.

1. blogs: blogs have turned into a new obsession for me. i finally realized the extent of it a few weekends ago when i had a girls weekend with some of my best friends. as we hung out and caught up i started doing that thing where you hear yourself from outside your body, you know what i mean? well, anyhow, i suddenly realized that every few minutes practically, i was referring to a blog. literally! "oh yeah such and such are doing this now, i read it on their blog" and "well such and such does that this way, i read it on their blog". i have become a junkie. 

let me clarify my obsession though. i am not into the super spiritual or theological blogs (although they would prob be more beneficial? not sure of it though), and i am not into news blogs either. i am into two particular types of blogs: personal ones and frugal, money saving ones. 

by personal blogs, i mean the kind where real people just share about their everyday life, whats on their minds, etc. i love these blogs. i read tons of them. all people i know though, only that interests me. 

by frugal, money saving  blogs i mean the kind where crazy obsessed frugal moms share tips on have to save money. they are kind crazy really, but sometimes helpful. 

i am blaming this obsession on kristi and natalie. they got me started with blogs this summer. what bad influences. 

2. a new friend: a girl just turned around from her table at starbucks and said to me, "your husband is so helpful and nice". i have never seen this girl. but i was flattered. i love my husband. and too often it takes someone else noticing he rocks for me to remember. (sidenote: she was simply guessing he was mine based on the ring on his finger and the fact that i had brought us a picnic dinner to eat in the middle of starbucks, you do what you have to)

3. Goals: i was reading someones blog a moment ago who had listed several things she was determined to do more or that she had learned this semester. i was inspired to do make my own list. but then i decided that i would be even more encouraged if i had others share their lists with me too! 

so here is the deal. i am going to work on my list, and post it later. when i do, i would love for people to post their own lists as a comment on mine. come on people- spur me on! 

when you dont have kids...

i guess when you dont have kids, you act as if your pets are your children. we have zoey (a fat cat) and joey (a large dog). 

and today joey and his first playdate.

thats right- playdate. Angela brought over she and Tommy's youngest dog, Joey, to play with our Joey today. so 'little' joey and 'big' joey ran in circles in our yard. they marked every plant we have. they rolled quite abit. and they panted for dear life. it was precious, and it amazed me how easily amused i am by my animals. here are just a few pics to let you see the fun! 

i am excited. i am sad.

As I have mentioned before, I will not be working at the BCM after this May. And i have no idea what I am moving on to. Well, May is coming sooner than I thought, and the BCM is getting into "plan for next year" mode. and I am not a part of most of it. sad times.

i mean, it really is a good thing- moving on. this is what is best for my family right now, and that is my top priority. i am excited for a change in my life. i am excited for a new challenge and new scene. i am excited to see my husband more. i am excited to pour into my youth more. i am excited to see someone else do this job and be blessed thru it. i am excited. 

but I am sad too. i am sad to leave a ministry i love so so much. i am sad to leave such an exciting area of ministry- the campus. i am sad to leave my boss who is so wonderful (i probably dont remember that enough). i am sad to leave where i am comfortable. i am sad to not be a part of the new things they will do next year. i am sad to leave meeting with students one on one and just hearing them grow and fall more in love with Christ each day. i am sad to pack up my office, that i have practically lived in for four years. i am sad. 

i knew this process would be a hard one, but this week it has really become real to me. i am not a part of interviewing students to be parents. i am not a part of planning the council planning retreat. i am not part of the new exec meeting. i am not a part. i feel terribly left out.

and i hate being left out. you see i shouldnt be a part of these things, the new staff should. and i am soo excited for them and what entering this phase of their life will be like. but i am soo sad to be leaving this phase of my life. for better or for worse, i have loved this job. the students i have had the honor of working with, the events i have been able to be a part of, even the challenges i have had to work thru, all of this has been such an amazing process for me. 

and it is time to say goodbye. and that is never easy. letting go is never easy. 

another health post...

well i got my test results back from my endocrinologist today, indicating that i am insulin resistant. (if you missed my post about my current health situation you can find it here) so what does that mean? i have found some cute pictures to explain: 

The first picture is showing what normal insulin usage looks like. The second one is showing what it looks like when you are insulin resistant. Basically, my body isn't using the sugar it produces or consumes correctly, and I will have to take a medicine to improve this. 

This actually wasn't bad news... at least now I have some idea of what's wrong with my body these days. I did decide to go ahead and switch my thyroid medicine to the more natural one, so I will have lots of changes in these next few weeks. Let's all pray it is for the better!

i promise i wont always talk about this boring stupid sickness stuff... thanks for bearing with me! 

how many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

i feel like my life right now is expressed in the cliche jokes that go: "how many ____ (in my case doctors) does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

for those of you who dont know, in Dec of 2007 I had my thyroid removed and discovered i had been living with thyroid cancer. since they removed my entire thyroid, i no longer had cancer, but just to be safe i underwent radioactive iodine treatment and full body scan which came back clear. for the last year i have been trying to get my thyroid hormone levels worked out (i have to take a supplement of this hormone for the rest of my life, you actually need this very small organ) and it has been quite the journey. 

i dont feel like myself. i havent for quite awhile. i am exhausted. i wake up exhausted every morning. i am a walking flake- meaning i have the driest skin ever. i am incredibly lethargic and unmotivated to do anything. my hair is breaking at the roots. i cant breathe. i have become a huge introvert, people deplete me. etc. etc. etc. 

you never know what that tiny organ called the thyroid does till its gone! anyhow, for the last year i have been on a medicine called synthroid, which is a synthetic hormone. and without going into all the specific details of how all this stuff works, i have been telling my doctor i dont feel well and need something to change. well he simply looked at one thyorid level and said "you are fine". basically telling em to deal with it. and i tried. but you know what? this isnt me! and i am so sick of not being myself. the new me sucks. so i decided to find a new doctor. and i found two new ones.

the problem is, they told me completely opposite things! what is a girl to do? in the thyroid world, there are basically two camps: those that believe in simply using T4 and those that believe in T3 and T4 (i realize this is crazy language for most of you, try to stick with me). and these two camps tell you to treat your symptoms in completely opposite ways. and the poor patient is left sitting here on a thursday night scouring the internet trying to find the truth!! 

the point is... i am stuck. i dont know which doctor to believe or which path to take. please pray for me to have wisdom and discernment. and grace and patience. bc at this point i am ready to punch a doctor in the face! haha! but seriously, please pray that the Lord would lead me to hat would work for my body. He made me, He knit me together in my mothers womb, He knows what my body needs. I just need Him to make that clear to me... if He makes it clear to any of you, will you let me know? ;)