thanksgiving... about a month later

Well I know Thanksgiving was almost a month ago! But I have just not had time to blog about it til now. It was a fabulous day. This year we stayed home and had Justin's Mom, Grandma, Sheldon and Dustin over, as well as Gary and Becky.

So I cooked a Turkey. And it was surprisingly good. Anyhow, the food was great. But I just loved actually having a great day to relax with my hubby in my new home!! As newlyweds, we are usually the ones traveling to our families and never at home. While I like that most of the time bc it is like getting away, this year staying home was just what I needed. A few posts ago I talked about my favorite place on earth- my backyard. And at Thanksgiving we made another fire and had smores again!! Yay!! Here are some pics.

Tag I'm It!!

Ok so it took me a long time to follow thru with this- mostly bc I didnt have a clue how to "link". But I will give it a shot! Cheye tagged me, and now here I go:

#1. I am terrified of the dark... I mean terrified. I dont like being home alone in the dark, I pretty much wont walk around in the dark etc. I have been begging Justin for a night light lately, but he says I need to face my fears! hehe

#2. If I could have done anything with my life without the fear of failing, I would have been a dancer. (Like ballet or jazz kind of dancer- dont get too imaginative!) Or a chef, or a photographer. Or a lawyer... ok I had alot of dreams! hehe

#3. I love love love the internet! I could play on the internet all day without getting bored. Seriously!

#4. When I go to the supermarket I go into a trance. Suddenly I am slowly gazing at everything and imagining if I was a rich person or chef that could cook all these amazing gourmet things. If I am not careful I could spend two hours in there and not even notice (ok I have done it but not very many times)!

#5. In high school, I ate Easy Mac for breakfast everyday. Then (in the summers) I would have salmon and easy mac for lunch. No joke. It was what I lived on. And I was under 100 pounds... oh the irony of that!

#6. I suffer from seasonal depression (self diagnoised... i have never seen a doctor about it). Every winter once it is cold and gets dark at 4pm, I turn into a blah creature. I dont like to move, go anywhere or do anything but sit on my couch. I sometimes even lose the ability to have an intelligent adult conversation. I really should live somewhere that skips the season altogether!

#7. I hate to bathe. Really I know I am a dirty girl, but I just do not enjoy the whole cleaning up and having to get ready again process. To bad God has not put me in Europe!! geez!!

Ok so now I will tag Kristi, Nat (although I doubt she will do it), Peace, Megan, Abby, Crystal, Emily, and Regina. Basically the only other bloggers I know! hehe!

swagbucks

so a friend recently told me about this new search engine called swagbucks, which is a place you can earn money, gift cards and prizes just for searching! here is how it works:

you just have to register (which only takes a sec and you have to give little info) and then anytime you would normally go to google and search for something you just go to swagbucks instead. such a great way to earn money!

plus you get more money by referring people. so if interested click here. thanks friends and good luck earning money!

my favorite place on earth!!

so i totally needed to blog about this and forgot.

i have found a new favorite place on earth... can you guess where?

my backyard!! i know, sounds lame, but it is seriously the most amazing place for me. let me tell you about it...

my hammock: our back yard is filled with big old trees. and in between two of these trees hangs my wonderful hammock (compliments of the sims). i love to lay in this hammock and read, while taking in the sights and sounds surrounding me.

the sights and sounds: usually these include the sun coming thru the gorgeous tall trees, sushi- the Alaskan shepherd dog who lives behind us and is oh so cute and playful and a great jumper (pretty sure she is coming into our yard one of these days), and my husband hitting yellow foam golf balls around our yard or at me (yes my husband hits golf balls at me... the abuse i live with geez)

the courtyard: our house has a built on workshop behind the garage that helps form a little courtyard between it and our kitchen (see the picture). it is a fabulous little spot, esp in the fall! the seller of our house left us a massive fire pit that i am soo grateful for. this past weekend we built a fire and actually made smores with some friends- i love this so much!!

so there is a small tour through my backyard. i assure you it is much more amazing in person and if you are nice i might even let you come over....

the daily grind...

I have been putting off posting for a few weeks now, mostly b/c i was waiting for a time when I had some hilariously cool thought to share. but who am I kidding- i never have anything like that to say! hehe!

so here is an update on the pate life. no big philosophical thoughts or spiritual challenges- just whats been up with us.

1. homecoming! two weeks ago I celebrated my 8th WKU homecoming. our students at the BCM were not as into this year at all, so it was kind of a let down. also it was Halloween weekend, so that cut alot of people from participating. but my dear pregnant friend amanda came in and it was a delight to hang out with her for a little while! ... also for any WKU alum that havent been to a game this year- the new stadium rocks and is super exciting to be at!

2. trunk or treat! i didnt actually go to this bc of homecoming stuff, but our church in little ol smiths grove had like 300 or more people come to runk or treat. we even had some people come and give candy out of their trunks who dont go to our church! so it wasa good outreach all the way around and a neat way to come in contact with some people we never would have otherwise. The Lord can work in the coolest ways!

3. fleas! we have been invaded by a fleas at the pate household. about three weeks ago we had an exterminator come and fog the house, and we hardcore treated zoey. and yet fleas are still attacking us! so the exterminator is back today, zoey is back at the vet getting treated, and i have never felt so americanized! i have to spend money on the stupidist things.

4. sickness! justin was sick for the last two weeks, i have been sick this week. yuck!! the pates have been whiney and down and stuffy lately. hopefully we are getting over it though.

humm thats enough updates i guess. i have such an exciting life eh?

i am such a slow starter

you know how people always ask in interview "are you a self starter?"?? i would usually say yes to this question. however today i realize that the answer is prob no... kinda... maybe?

once i get going i am a self starter. is that possible?? here lately i have just noticed in myself that i really put off life. i dont really mean procrastinating, i just mean doing life period. i am freeze up in the mornings and dont want to face the day. i dont want to work or see people or do any kind of responsibility. so i freeze... mope... stall... whatever you want to call it.

but then when i finally get my feet on the ground, they hit the ground running. from the outside looking in, most people would call me a hard worker and self starter. they dont get to see the stalling... the hesitation.

so now that i have noticed this i am just wondering why?? why do i do this??

now i feel i should let you know this is not an everyday occurrence. just every couple of days or weeks. but nonetheless, some days i just wake up and dont want to face my life.

does everyone do this? is everyone else just better at pushing past this or sucking it up? this is my question-- anyone got an answer??

some things floating inside my head...

i have always struggled with thinking other people's lives are better or easier than mine. but lately i have noticed how much everyone seems to do this. we always try to make it sound like we had the worst time doing such and such, or that we have the hardest time financially or with dating or with jobs etc etc. It seems like we are always trying to compete with each other on who has it harder!

people with kids especially seem to do this.

anyhow, the question is WHY?? why do we do this?

its like we are always longing for something to be better than it is. no matter how great our life is, its not enough. sure my marriage is great, but my job isnt as good as yours. or sure i have lots of great friends, but i dont have a relationship with someone who loves me like you do. or sure i have a great family, but i am never as healthy as you etc etc.

it is sooo annoying. i get so annoyed when people do this. but as they say "the thing that annoys you the most in others is the thing that annoys you the most about yourself". i do this. consistently. without noticing actually. but why????

maybe it is our need for the gospel showing up in us. we will never be complete in this world. so no matter how good things are, we will long for more. and though it feels like we will never get more- eternity with Christ will be where we finally stop longing and start fully living.

doesnt that sound wierd? that we will finally start living in our afterlife... but it is my reality. and i see the evidence for it everyday in how we long for more no matter how great our lives are. now i am not talking about longing for bad situations in life to be better... i am talking about the things in our lives that are great- and yet we still think others have it better. they have to, bc there has to be something better than this... yes even than this.

a verse my husband always goes back to seems so real right now.. "He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." Eccl. 3:11

wet dogs and lost keys...

something in particular that is new this week? we are dog sitting for some friends. two dogs and one cat sitting to be exact. and when i say we, i really mean I am doing this twice a day and Justin and I are doing this once a day. oh joy.

so each morning i have to go over and take the dogs for a walk, then feed them. then i go in the middle of the day and walk them again and give them some loving. then we go for a longer length of time at night and chill (they have cable!). they are cute but one has a huge licking issue-- as in she likes to lick my arms, icky! the other one makes a pig noise that i love!

yesterday afternoon i was walking the dogs and apparently i dropped my keys. once we got back home and inside i realized i couldnt find them and had to walk all the way back to the farthest spot we went to find them laying in the street! i am a mess with dogs! must be why i prefer cats.

today it is raining. i had to walk dogs in the rain. yuck! luckily i thought of this as i was putting on a white shirt this morning and decided to change!! so we get back in the house and then two very wet dogs want me to love all over them! they didnt seem to care at all that they smelled like gross wet dogs! oh the joy.

the cool news about this all (other than the free cable)? our van (that parents from our church totally gave us free! what a blessing!) had an issue this week. the ignition lock decided to quit turning, so we couldnt start the van. but we got it fixed for exactly the amount we got paid to dog sit!

The Lord really does provide in His perfect time and way. And I apparently needed to learn how to be patient with animals.

an attempt at what is new...

I feel like most people update their blogs with new things going on in their lives. At least those are the blogs I love the most. I am not real into the "send a deep philosophical question out into the vast internet world", though I think for some they are great. But the blogs that I go back to everyday hoping to see an update, are just the everyday blogs. Why am I so enamored with what peoples lives are like? I have no idea, but anthropology and sociology were my majors (so obviously I like observing human life for some strange reason).

All that to say, I want to attempt to be the type of blogger I love so much. But when I try to think of whats going on in life it always seems so normal and 'same o same o'. I will give it my best.

Lately, Justin and I's lives consists of alot of work. Justin now has three jobs: youth pastor at Smiths Grove Baptist, Starbucks, and a Special Ed Assistant at North Warren Elementary. He is a busy busy man. I only have one job, the BCM, but sometimes it can feel like 10 jobs! hehe! The funny thing is in the midst of what should be the busiest season in our lives thus far, we have really gotten into a schedule of sorts! I think this is bc we have to in order to see each other maybe?

So mostly here is my weekly night life (please dont get too bored on me): mondays we eat dinner at home with dustin, watch some sort of tv or play the wii and just enjoy each other, tuesdays justin works at starbucks till close and i have 180, wednesdays we go to dustins for dinner then church then i lead a dgroup, thursdays are varied but usually we have some sort of date night, and the weekends are filled with starbucks, BCM or church events, family and friends.

there are the basics...

a rant...

well where have i been for the past two months basically?

i have been doing life. you know, buying a house, working, cooking, cleaning, seeing family and friends, going crazy! hehe! and i am totally wondering- how do people keep up with this whole blogging thing??

so lately i have been wanting more than ever to save save save money. but kinda in a good way, and kinda not in a good way. see i have started following this one blog that is called moneysavingmom.com. and its a good blog. but its like a whole new subculture.

you see the blog is all about finding the best deals around, you know being frugal. and i think thats a great aspiration. especially with today's economy. but you see, if you look at who posts on this blog, its like there are a million of these blogs! and they are all centered around being a mom and being thrifty. interesting.

so anyhow- yesterday someone posted on there how they save money by not having cable. now anyone who knows me knows i dont have cable or Internet and i do save quite a bit of money by this choice. however, someday i do hope to have them- i like them. i dont think its a crime (although i am not that well versed on the new code of good Christians in the 2000s...).

but then all this "i am super religious because i dont have cable" fluff followed. all these people posted about how they were making the best choice ever- that they were focused on their family and saving money and being productive and being pure etc etc etc.

this totally angers me!! i mean i am not like a huge tv advocate or anything at all... but why have we become the pharisees all over again?? did Paul not say that we are free??

"7But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled. 8But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do." 1 Corinthians 8:7-8

"3This is my defense to those who sit in judgment on me. 4Don't we have the right to food and drink?" 1 Corinthians 9:3-4

Basically I am trying to say that God desires for us to be free indeed! and that He desires for us to live in the time and culture that He created us for. If I delight in resting by weeping with those who weep in some sappy show, my Father in heaven does not look down on me for not checking ten other things off my to do list. He rejoices that I can love people like He designed me to.

Now I get that there is filth on TV. I do. And I am not saying go watch a bunch of gross junk. I am not condoning the people that sit all day and waste their brains away. But i am saying that when Christians get on a religious soap box about being holier than thou by not watching tv we sound an awful lot like the pharisees that spent so much time trying to trick Jesus into thinking they were perfect.

let us live as children of God... children who are free indeed... children that delight in the Fathers love- not trying to earn it.

the house trap...

so i will admit i have been a little stressed out lately...

ok maybe alot!

life has been crazy this year and i think it has been easy to focus on the earthly individual situations and not the heavenly big picture.

however, the biggest source of stress right now is the new house. moving. packing. decorating. wanting to update. mortgaging. ughhh!

and i find it so annoying. a house should be a place of rest and renewal. edith schaeffer once compared it to a hospital- people should be healed by being in your home. thats a pretty lofty goal. and i so desire to have a home that people feel the Holy Spirit ministering in. i want to be renewed by walking in the door, and i want others too as well.

and yet too often my home is my biggest source of frustration. my biggest idol. my biggest distraction. i try to live up to unachievable perfection when it comes to cleaning my house and decorating and organizing my house. my intention is good- i start out wanting it to be clutter free and inviting. however when i end, it has not become a place of renewal- it is a place i (and prob my husband) want to run from!

so with the new house, i am finding it so hard to slow down and simply desire for it to be welcoming and relaxing. i am constantly thinking of how to update it, make it look better, make it worth more money, make it look super cute etc. it is such a worldly trap!!! ugh! it is enough to make a person want to just move overseas with some tribe that lives in huts! goodness!

(did i mention i am not even moved in this house yet?)

so if you think about it today, send a prayer up for me and my home. pray that my mind will be captive to the things of Christ only, and that my home will be a place of ministry, not of worldly show.

tired thoughts... with no point really

this year has been very full of tiredness.

i started the year tired from surgery. i had a tired voice and complete lack of motivation. i was also tired of my husband being jobless and us being churchless. just tired.

then i was tired from a lack of sufficient thyroid hormone. literally tired. it took months to get my dose right, and quite frankly we are still working on that.

and now i am just tired. i am so tired of constantly running running running. there are practically no margins in our lives. we run from thing to thing to thing. and it is not just the busyness, anyone who knows me knows i have been busy my whole life. i was born busy i think.

but there is something different about this busy, something that is leaving me feeling awfully cynical and negative.

i dont have a wise lesson to be learned here- i have something i am needing to learn i think. basically i am tired, and fighting negativity so hard, and i havent the slightest clue why. but if you are reading this- please pray for clarity and joy.

oh, and calmness hehe!

someone hit fast forward!

where did summer go?


suddenly we only have a few more weeks and I am wondering how on earth time went by so quickly! in the last month I have gone to New York on a family vacation, and Louisville on a youth mission trip. but the biggest news is...


we are buying a house!

yes in the process of helping Dustin (Justin's twin brother) buy a house, we ran out of reasons to continue renting and started our own house search! we found a house that is just so "us" and are now under contract. the whole thing si super fast and crazy! here is a listing if you are interested!

http://legacyrealestategroup.point2agent.com/Bowling_Green/Kentucky/Homes/Bowling_Green_North/Agent/Listing_1768599.html

it must be time for a lesson...

well a few weeks ago i write a post about comparing myself to others on facebook etc. well apparently God thought it was time to teach me a lesson about just that!
I just began a bible study with a group of fabulous ladies online (whom I have never met and whom live all over the US really) entitled "No Other Gods" by Kelly Minter. It is about confronting the everyday idols we all have in our lives. The ones we dont even notice...
... such as comparing ourselves to others!
Hopefully I will get to share alot more about what god is teaching me thru this study later, but for now I wanted to share a great definition in the bible study of an idol:
An idol is something within creation that is inflated to function as a substitute for God. All sorts of things are potential idols, depending only on our attitudes and actions toward them...Idolatry may not involve explicit denials of God's existence or character. It may well come in the form of an over attachment to something that is, in itself, perfectly good... An idol can be a physical object, a property, a person, an activity, a role, an institution, a hope, an image, an idea, a pleasure, a hero- anything that can substitute for God. -Richard Keyes

really?

ok this post will prob seem pretty dumb to any males reading, but my girls will prob find it hilarious.

i am getting my haircut today. i really want bangs, i dont know why but i have a deep longing for bangs! hehe! so today i wen to google images and searched 'medium haircuts with bangs". well i found a whole new subculture of the internet! ladies, there is no longer a need to go look or buy the haircut mags at walmart, you can find anything you want on the internet these days!

i found a whole blog titled "hair obsessed", where the whole point of this ladies blog is to post pictures of different haircuts she finds online! she had even divided them all up into hair length categories, face shapes, appropriate for each age haircuts etc. it was nuts!

then i am also getting my eyebrows waxed today, so i decided why not see if there are eyebrow blogs etc. oh yeah... whole websites dedicated to helping people get the right eyebrow shape.

now to all this i have to say, "really?"! really, people have enough time and passion for others hair cuts and eyebrows to update blogs and websites every day with pictures?!! do these people work?? i just found it bizarre. dont get me wrong, i enjoyed being able to find pics to take to my hairdresser, but I just have to wonder who these people are?

you really can find anything on the internet!!!

is their life better than mine?

facebook, blogs, myspace, wedding websites, etc. have you noticed how many personal websites there are these days? it is quite ridiculous how easy it is to webstalk people's lives.
as i was "facestalking" (if you arent familiar w/this term, it is when you are on facebook and continue to go to page after page simply to see what that persons life is like etc) people today, i wondered to myself why this is so darn addicting?
i have come up with two answers thus far: 1) we deeply long to connect and stay close with many more people than we are able to. God created us for community, we enjoy other people. 2) we secretly want to know how their life shapes up to ours. this one saddens me to addmit. but i am compelled to look at people's facebook pages from high school b/c i want to know what their life is like. do they seem happier than me? do they have a great marriage? do they have a great house? have they gotten prettier? uglier? UGHHH!!!! the questions go on and on in my head. of course we dont automatically realize this is what we are doing. we dont do it on purpose. we do it because we have a sinful nature that desires to always be better, be in control, be the best, be our own lord basically!
taming this sinful nature is not so easy, in fact we arent even capable on our own. only Christ can defeat it forever. believers know that. but what we fail to remember is that once christ is Lord, we do have the power to fight against the flesh. We now know when we are being ridiculous... we are aware. before we really knew and submitted to Christ, we werent aware that any of these things were an issue. however now we know, and we are commanded to fight against this. jealously is not a fruit of the spirit, neither are pride or smuggness.
today, remember to check yourself in the small things. often once we have been a believer in Christ for awhile, we tend to oversee our sins. obviously we are not killing people so we are doing good. we let the devil & our own sinful nature lure us in the small ways where we have our guard down.
could this be what Christ meant when he says we are to be in the world, but not of it? so often in the Christian realm this has meant being so anticulture we cant reach the culture. but maybe He meant for us to be enjoying culture without being lead by the sinful nature. enjoy facebook- but dont allow pride, jealousy or judgement to rule how you enjoy it. enjoy a movie- but dont allow lust, judgement or idolatry to rule your thoughts during it.
leaving in a fallen world is sooo annoying. i am so over it. I second what John cried at the end of revelation: "Amen. Come Lord Jesus Come!!"

downpour

in december i had surgery. it was really an ordeal of sorts, and was no big deal at the same time. i had my thyroid removed and then discovered i had thyroid cancer. it sounds very dramatic, but in fact was not a huge deal. once the thyroid was out i really didnt have cancer... so as my husband likes to say- i didnt know i had cancer till i didnt have cancer! but on the financial side of things this has been such an ordeal! obviously surgery costs zillions of dollars, so you can imagine how poor people like the pate's cannot afford this type of thing. (justin says when this is all over i cant go to the doctor for years b/c i have exceeded my cost limit) i have been fighting with my secondary insurance for months now trying to get the correct papers in to the correct people so i can get some correct money! it has been the most frustrating and trying thing i have ever been involved in....
however the Lord has provided....
we found out this weekend that the insurance paid all of it!!! which means i had a semi major surgery and paid zero out of pocket on it!! Praise the Lord!

the beginning...

i have a summer job where i am in front of a computer for hours on end...sooooo.... i decied to try the blogging thing. and the only thing on my mind?

KID SUMMERS!

i miss being a kid in the summer. remember when you were too young to work or pay bills? and summer was spent riding your bike, watching tv, playing outside or swimming? how i long for those days again.

but instead i am having an adult summer. and i have come to realize that this is my reality. get up, go to work, come home and eat, go to church softball, go to sleep and get up and do it all again! (ok maybe it isnt quite that boring or bad- but you get the picture)

i want to swim and lay by the pool. i want to go to amusement parks. i want to sleep in till noon and stay up till 2am. oh well... back to work!